Should I cheat on an exam or assignment? Look the other way when I see someone being bullied? Spread
negative things about people through texting, Facebook, gossip, etc.? Go to a party that I know my parents
wouldn't approve of? Engage in risky behavior (sex, drugs, drinking)? Would my action pass these tests:
1. BEST SELF TEST: Does this action represent my "best self"? Does it reflect the
kind of person I want to be?
2. UNIVERSAL ethical values test : Does this action violate any ethical values—
such as integrity, respect, fairness, or kindness—that all people should live by?
3. Consequences Test : Will this have negative consequences—hurtful to someone
else or myself— that I will come to regret?
4. Conscience Test : Does this go against what my conscience tells me is right? If
I do this, will I feel guilty or lose self-respect?
5. Parent/TEACHER/CO ACH Test : If I were to ask my parents, teachers, coaches,
or any other adults I respect, would they approve of my doing this?
6. GOLDEN RULE (REVERSIBILITY) TEST: Would I want someone to do this to me?
7. what -If-EVERYBODY-DID-THIS Test : Would I want to live in a world where
everybody did this (lied, cheated, stole, disrespected or used others, etc.)?
8. Truth Test : Am I telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth—no lies,
no omissions, and no half-truths?
9. INTERNET test : Would I want this made public through Facebook, You-Tube,
texting, etc., and seen by my teachers, parents, employers, or future spouse?
10. RELIGION TEST: If I have religious beliefs, what do they teach about whether
this action is right or wrong?
© 2011 excellence & ethics, Center for the 4th and 5th Rs. May be copied without permission. Adapted from Thomas Lickona's Character Matters and reprinted in Smart & Good High Schools, www.cortland.edu/character. Relat ed Curricular Resourc e: Power2Achieve Foundations, an Institute for Excellence & Ethics curriculum for developing moral and performance character. Sample unit: www.excellenceandethics.com. Ethics-in-Action Self-Quiz: How to Make a Good Decision
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
WOMAN AND MAN IN THE RECENT MAGISTERIUM OF THE CHURCH
by Jutta Burggraf, January 2004 (www.arvo.net)
Gender ideology
Some people prefer to speak of "gender" in place of "sex". But this is not only a change in wording. Behind such a notion is the feminist ideology of gender that began to emerge in the decade 1960-1970. According to this ideology, masculinity and femininity would no longer be determined by sex, but rather by culture.
While the term "sex" makes reference to nature and implies two possibilities (man and woman), the term "gender" is a linguistic term which allows for three variations: masculine, feminine and neuter. The differences, then, between man and woman would no longer correspond to a nature which is given-except for the obvious physiological differences-but would be, rather, mere cultural constructs, "created" so to speak, according to the roles and stereotypes assigned to the sexes by each society ("socially constructed roles"). [In languages in which there are not two different words for "sex" and "gender", it is common to speak of "biological sex" and "psychosocial" sex. Thus, for example, in German: "biologisches Geschlecht" and "psycho-soziales Geschlecht".]
Within this context, what is emphasized (and not without reason) is that in the past, the differences were disproportionately accentuated, thus leading to situations of discrimination and injustice for many women. For centuries, it is said, it has been the lot of women to be labeled as inferior beings, excluded from public decision-making and from higher education.
But today, these people affirm, women have come to realize the great fraud of which they have been the victims, and they are breaking the structures that have been imposed on them. They want, above all, to liberate themselves from marriage and from maternity, both of which are seen as forms of enslavement. Some of the experts of gender feminism even propose the following: "To be really effective in the long run, programs of family planning should seek not only to reduce fertility within the existing gender roles, but to go even further and change the gender roles themselves with the purpose of reducing fertility."
Some support the existence of four, five, or even six genders, according to various considerations: male heterosexual, female heterosexual, male homosexual,lesbian, bisexual, and "undifferentiated". This means that masculinity and femininity are no longer considered to be in any way the only natural derivatives of the biological sexual dichotomy. Therefore, any sexual activity would become justifiable.
Judith Butler says in her work Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of ldentity,: "When we theorize that gender is a construction that is radically independent of sex, then gender itself becomes an artifice free of obligatory ties. As a result, "man" and "masculine" could just as well mean a feminine body as a masculine one; "woman" and "feminine" could just as well mean a masculine body as a feminine one." (Although this book has its critics among even more radical extremist groups because it doesn't completely transcend the biological element, it is still considered one of the key texts of gender ideology.) Heterosexuality, then, far from being "obligatory", would mean just one more possible form of sexual practice.
It would not even be preferable for procreation in "more imaginative" societies, biological reproduction could be assured by other techniques, or so affirms Heidi Hartmann in The Unhappy Marriage of Marxism and Feminism. The author anticipates the complete separation of sexuality, maternity and paternity from procreation that artificial techniques make possible today. And since gender "identity", in this view, could adapt itself indefinitely to new and different purposes, it would be up to individuals to choose freely the type of gender to which they would like to belong, in the different stages and situations of their lives.
To achieve a universal acceptance of these ideas, the promoters of radical gender feminism are trying to create a gradual cultural change, a so-called "deconstruction" of society, beginning with the family and the education of children (cf . Family, Marriage and Civil Unions, PONTIFICAL COMMISSION ON THE FAMILY). Gender feminism has found a favorable reception among a sizable number of international institutions, among which are some organizations that form part of the United Nations. In not a few universities, gender studies have been raised to a new scientific level. Using ambiguous language, these studies make the new ethical assumptions about gender seem reasonable. The goal is to "reconstruct" a new world that will include, besides the traditional masculine and feminine genders, other genders that will shape the way we view human life and interpersonal relationships.
These ideas about gender have found a favorable reception in the individualistic anthropology of radical neo-liberalism. They are supported, on the one hand, by diverse, already existent Marxist and structuralist theories (e.g. Friedrich Engels established the basis for a union of Marxism and feminism in his Origin of the Family, Property and the State). They also have found a ready support in the ideas of some of the proponents of the sexual revolution, such as William Reich (l89l -1951) and Herbert Marcuse ( 1898- 1979), both of whom encouraged all kinds of sexual experimentation.
More directly, one can see the influence of the atheist existentialism of Simone de Beauvior (1908-1986), who announced already in 1949 her well-known aphorism: "You are not born a woman, they make you a woman!" This of course was later completed by its logical conclusion: "You are not born a man, they make you a man! Being a man is not a condition given from the beginning, either." The sociocultural studies of Margaret Mead (1901-1978) also could be included in this historic process that consolidated a new branch of radical feminism, although the scientific validity of her contributions has been questioned by other scientists.
When they claim that the masculine and feminine genders are merely the product of social factors, without any relation to the sexual dimension of the human person, the defenders of gender theory are opposing a model as unilateral as their own, which claims exactly the opposite: that there is no connection between the individual and the community in the shaping of one's personal identity as male or female, and each sex has certain fixed social functions by biological necessity, invariable throughout history. (For a clear analysis of the various models of relations between male and female, see Maria Elosegui: Transexuality, Jurisprudence, and Juridical Argument).
This model, however, is considered today to be false at the theoretical and juridical level, at least in the West. The subordination of women to men goes against the principle of equality of the sexes, against the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights document of 1948 and against many other documents of the U.N. In some ways, this inequality has been overcome by legislation, but not totally. According to Maria Elosegui, "There is still discrimination-direct, indirect, and hidden-in the workplace, in social circles, in financial laws, etc." [...] One cannot deny that the influence of discrimination is patent in social practice.
The process of identification with one's own sex
In the human person, sex and gender-the biological foundation and the cultural expression thereof-are not identical, but neither are they completely independent. To establish the proper relationship between the two, it is important first to consider the process by which one forms one's identity as a man or a woman. Experts point out three aspects of this process which, in normal cases, are harmoniously interconnected: they are biological sex, psychological sex, and social sex. (Note: biological sex is usually simply called sex, while psychological and social sex are united in the term gender.)
Biological sex describes the bodily aspects of the person, comprising several distinguishable factors: genetic sex (or chromosomatic sex) determined by the chromosomes XX in the female and XY in the male-is established at the moment of conception, and is then translated into the gonadal sex, or that which is responsible for hormonal activity in the body. This gonadal sex, in its turn, influences somatic sex, which determines the structure of the reproductive organs, both internal and external. It is important to recognize that these biological bases have a profound influence on the entire organism, to such a degree that each cell of a female body is structured differently from each cell of a masculine body. Medical science even points out that there are structural and functional differences between the brain of a female and that of a male.
Psychological sex refers to the psychic experience a person has of being male or female. It consists, concretely, in the consciousness of belonging to a determined sex. This consciousness is formed, for the most part, between two and three years of age and usually coincides with one's biological sex. This can be deeply affected by education and by the child's environment.
Sociological sex (or the civil designation of sex) is the sex assigned to an individual at birth. Basically, it expresses how a person is perceived by others. In general, it is understood to be the result ofcultural-historical processes. It refers to the functions and roles (and even stereotypes) that are designated or assigned to different groups of persons in each society.
These three aspects should not be understood as being isolated one from another. On the contrary, they are integrated into the wider process of the formation of one's own identity. One thus progressively acquires during infancy and adolescence the consciousness ofbeing "oneself'' One discovers one's identity and, within that identity, ever more deeply, the sexual dimension of one's being. Gradually, one acquires a sexual identity (becoming aware of the biopsychological factorsof one'sownsex,andof itsdifferencefromtheothersex),andalsoa genderidentity (discovering the psycho-social and cultural factors of the roles that men and women play in society). In a correct and harmonious process of integration, both dimensions correspond to each other and complement each other.
Special consideration should be given to those given the name transsexuals (or transgender individuals), since some argue that the existence of transsexuals and hermaphrodites demonstrates that there are not only two sexes. But transsexual states are medical anomalies, with a range of clinical characteristics. These conditions (which are rare) usually occur in an early stage of embryonic development. Such conditions are defined by conflicts among the usual indications of biological sex. That is to say, transsexual persons have an anomaly in one or more of the links in the biological chain that leads to sexual differentiation: e.g., ambiguous sexual organs, a body type that does not correspond to genetic structure, or an XXY chromosomal structure. The consequent abnormal development of biological sex leads also to difficulties in the development of psychosocial sex. Such persons may be perceived as belonging to the sex other than that which their anatomy would dictate. Rather than use such pathological conditions as propaganda in the effort to "deconstruct" the foundation of the family and society, transsexual persons should be shown respect and given adequate medical treatment.
It is important to distinguish between sexual identity (man or woman) and sexual orientation (heterosexuality, homosexuality, or bisexuality). What is commonly understood as sexual orientation is the sexual preference that is established in the period of adolescence during which brain development is completed. It may have a biological basis and is shaped also by other factors, such as education, culture, and personal experiences. Although the numbers vary according to several studies, it is safe to say that the vast majority or people are heterosexuals.
Sexual behavior is a different matter. In normal cases, this designates one's own chosen way of behaving with regard to sex. There is a very wide range of ways to express one's sexuality (not all of which are healthy, of course).
Achieving a greater understanding of sexual differences
Since the whole person is either male or female, "in a unity of body and soul", one's masculinity or femininity extends to every aspect of one's being: from the deep significance of the physical differences between the sexes and the influence of these on bodily love, to the psychological differences between them and the different way these are manifested in their relationship with God.
Although one cannot cite any specific psychological or spiritual characteristic attributable to only one of the sexes, there are, nevertheless, certain qualities that occur with special frequency and in a more pronounced way in men, and similarly, in women. It is, however, a very difficult task to distinguish these qualities in a definitive way. Most likely it will never be possible to determine with scientific precision what is "typically masculine" or "typically feminine" because human nature and culture, the two great "shapers" of identity, are very tightly interwoven from the beginning.
But the fact that men and women experience the world in different ways, solve problems in different ways, feel, plan, and react in different ways, certainly has a solid foundation in the biological constitution of each sex.
Sexuality speaks at the same time of "identity" and "otherness". Men and women have the same human nature, but they have it each in a different way. In a certain sense, they complement each other. Men tend "by natural constitution" toward women, and women toward men. They do not seek an androgynous unity, as in the mythical vision of Aristophanes in Plato's Symposium,but rather, they have mutual need of each other to develop their humanity fully. The woman is given to man as a "help" by the Creator, and vice-versa-and "help" does not mean "servant", nor does it indicate any kind of scorn or disrespect. (Cf. John Paul II, Apostolic Letter Mulieris Dignitatem.) In the Psalms, the psalmist says to God: "You are my help." (Psalms 70, 6; 115,9, 10, I l; 118, l: 146,5) And in the husband-wife relationship, the need for "submission" is not unilateral, but rather reciprocal.
It is a biological fact that only the woman can be a mother, and only the man can be a father. Procreation is thus ennobled by the context of love in which it comes about. Precisely because of the bond between love and procreation, procreation as the work of the two sexes has been given special place by God at the heart of what it means to be a human person. Paternity and maternity show immense confidence in the human person on the part of God.
Both man and woman have the capacity to fulfill a fundamental need of the other. In their mutual relations, one allows the other to discover and fulfill his or her own sexual condition. One makes the other conscious of being called to communion and to a mutual self-giving, in a mutual,
loving subordination. Both, from different perspectives, reach their own happiness by seeking the happiness of the other.
While arbitrary gender changes bear witness to a certain desire for self-sufficiency, human sexuality really gives evidence of the contrary: a clear disposition toward the other. It shows that human fulfillment lies precisely in relationship, in being-for-the-other. It moves one to go out of oneself, to seek the other, and to rejoice in the other's presence. It is like the seal of the God of Love in the very structure of human nature. Although each person is loved by God "for his own sake" and called to individual fulfrllment, he cannot reach this fulfillment except in communion with others. The human person is made to give and receive love. The sexual condition speaks to us of this, and this has an immense value in itself. Both sexes are called by God to live and act together ("God created the human being in his own image, in he image of God he created him, male and female he created them."Genesis 1:27) This is their vocation. One can even say that God did not create man male and female so that they would engender more human beings, but just the reverse: that men and women have the capacity to engender others in order to perpetuate the divine image that is reflected in their sexual condition.
To be a woman or a man is more than just being a mother or father, however. When one considers the specific qualities with which a woman is endowed, one can also reflect upon what is known as "spiritual maternity". Perhaps even more opportunely, Pope John Paul II speaks of "the genius of woman", which he defines as a basic attitude which corresponds to the physical make-up of women and is nurtured by it. In effect, it is not unrealistic to suppose that the intense relationship that a woman has with generating life can and does give her certain dispositions.
Just as during pregnancy, a woman experiences a unique closeness with her unborn child, so, too, her very nature is disposed towards interpersonal encounter. The "genius of woman" can be translated into a refined sensitivity toward the needs of others, along with the capacity of recognizing their inner conflicts and understanding them. One can identify the genius of woman, one might say, as a special capacity for showing love in concrete ways, and of developing the "ethic" of nurturing care.
Where there is a "feminine genius", there ought also to be a "masculine genius", or talents which are specifically masculine. Men tend by nature to put a greater distance between themselves and life in the concrete. They find themselves "outside" the process of pregnancy and birth, and can only take part in these through their wives. But it is precisely this greater "distance" that enables them to be more serene in the task of protecting life and of assuring the future. This can make a man become a true "father", not only in the physical aspect, but also in the spiritual sense. Spiritual paternity supposes a liberation from egocentrism, having been "conquered by love". lt can lead a man to become an unflappable friend, confident and worthy of confidence. But it can also lead him to a certain lack of interest for concrete, daily realities, which, unfortunately, is a phenomenon that has been fostered in these past years by a kind of one-sided education.
In all environments and sectors of society: in culture and art, in politics and the economy, in public and private life, men and women are called to accept each other and to build together a more habitable world. This world will reach its fullness when both sexes harmoniously make their specific contribution.
A proper relationship between sex and gender
There is profound unity among the corporal, psychic, and spiritual dimensions of the human person, and a great interdependence between the biological and the cultural. A person's behavior has always a basis in nature and can never be completely separated from it.
Unity and equality between the sexes does not cancel out their differences. Although both feminine and masculine qualities can vary greatly, they cannot be completely ignored. There will always be a background of human nature, that cannot be blotted out without desperate efforts which lead, in the long run, to the negation of self. Neither men nor women can go against their own nature without becoming truly miserable. The rupture with one's biological self cannot liberate neither a woman nor a man. It is, on the contrary, the road to self- destruction.
Culture, at the same time, has to give an appropriate response to nature. It should not be an obstacle to the progress of a particular group of people. Injustices against women have been evident throughout history, and still exist today. Yet this long history of discrimination has no biological justification; on the contrary, its roots are cultural, and it must be eradicated. Social roles of men and women should not be considered invariably linked to genetics or to biology. It is desirable for women to assume new roles that are in harmony with their dignity as women. In this sense, Pope John Paul II explicitly rejects the deterministic biological idea that all roles and relations between the sexes are fixed in a single static model, and he urges men to participate "in the great process of the liberation of women." Undoubtedly, the incorporation of women into the labor market is an advancement that creates new challenges for both sexes.
The term gender, then, can be accepted as a human, and therefore free ***expression that is based on biological sexual identity, masculine or feminine. It is suitable to describe cultural aspects of the constructed roles of men and women within a given social context. However, not all social roles are "constructed" at will; some have a greater biological origin.
Today, many people are rediscovering with a new clarity that they cannot be really free by going beyond their own nature. One's sex, more than being a privilege or the basis for discrimination, is also an opportunity for one's own development. As a consequence, there is a greater realization that outside the home is not the only forum for the promotion of women. Clearly, women are not to be cast only in the roles of wife and mother; and yet many women are wives and mothers, or want to be, and there has to be a way for them to do so with dignity. The woman with an external professional career can not be declared the only possible ideal of feminine independence.
The family, certainly, is not the exclusive task of the woman. But even when the man shows his sense of responsibility and combines his professional tasks well with his family duties, one still cannot deny that the woman plays an immensely important role in the home. The specific contribution that she makes there should be fully recognized in legislation and justly remunerated, from an economic and socio-political perspective. The collaboration needed to enact such legislation should be considered world-wide not only as a right, but also as a duty of women.
Final note
The development of society depends on the employment of all human resources. For this reason, men and women should participate in all spheres of public and private life. The attempts made to achieve this just goal in the contexts of government, politics, business, culture, society and family life, can proceed under the banner of "gender equality", as long as this equality includes the right to be different.
In fact, some countries and international organizations are already taking into account the different situation of men and women, and are developing plans for equal opportunity which will help promote of women. And at the moment of adopting policies, the "gender perspective" is leading people to consider the possible effects of policy decisions on both men and women.
This "gender perspective", which defends the right to the differences between men and women and promotes co-responsibility in the workplace and in the family, should not be confused with the radical approach, pointed out at the beginning of this article, which ignores and crushes, the natural diversity of the two sexes.
Bibliography:
- Los estudios del psiquiatra Gerard J.M. van den AARDWEG: Dcts Drama des gewdhnlichen Homo,sexuellen. Analyse untl Therapie, 3. ed. Neuhausen-stuttgart 1995, pp.\147. (Original inglls Homosexuality rts a Disease of
Self-Pity,).
- Simone de BEAUVOIR: Das andere Geschlecht, Hamburg 195 l, p.285. (Original francds Le Deuxi?me Sexe, Paris
1949).
- Sirnone de BEAUVOIR: A//es in Allem, Hamburg 1974, p.455.
-JuttaBURGGRAF: JuanPablollt,lavocaci1ndelamujer,enScriptaTheologica3l(1999/l),pp.139-155.
- Judirh BUTLER: Gender Trouble. Feminism and the Subversion of ldentity, New York-London 1990, p.6.
- Josd Manuel CASAS TORRES: La cuarta conferencia mundial sobre Ia mujer,Madrid 1998, p.78.
- CONCILIO VATICANO II: Constituci6n Pastoral Gaudium et Spes (GS)' 14.
- DAVIDSON, K.R. CAVE, D. SELLNER: Dffirences in visual attention and task interference betvveen males and
females reflect differences in brain lateraliry, en: Neuropsychologia (2000/4), pp.508-5 14.
- DIVISION FOR THE ADVANCEMENT OF WOMEN FOR THE EXPERT GROUP MEETINC ON FAMILY PLANNING, HEALTH AND FAMILY WELL-BEING Gender Perspective in Family Planning Programs, Bangalore (India), 26-30 de octubre de 1992; y organizado en colaboraci6n con el UNITED NATIONS POPULATIONS FUND (UNFPA).
- Maria ELOSEGUI: In tranexuttidad. Jurisprudencia -r ar7umentaci6n juridica, Granada 1999, pp.9 l-l I 8.
- Maria ELOSECUI: Los derechos reproductivos. IJn nuevo concepto juridico procedente del mundo Legal anglosaj6n, en Anuario de Derecho Eclesiiistico del Estado l6 (20O0)' p-689.
- Friedrich ENGELS The Origin of the Famill,, Property' and the Srate, New York 1912. (Original alem{n Der [,/rsprung der Familie, des Privateigentums und des Staates, 1884).
- J. GONZALEZ MERLO: Cinecologia, cap. 3: Estados Intersexuales, Barcelona 1998.
- Heidi HARTMANN The lJnhappy Marriage of Marxism and Feminism. Boston l98l, p.16. -JUANPABLOII:CartaApost6lica Mulierisdignitatem,(MD;15 deagostode 1985), 10.
- JUAN PABLO ll: Carta a las mujeres (29 de junio de 1 995), 6.
- JUAN PABLO II: Encfclica Laborem exercens, (14 de septiembre de l98l)' 19.
- K. KANSAKU, A. YAMAURA, S. KITAZAWA: Sex differences in lateralization revealed in the posterior
language areqs, eni Cereb Cortex (2000/9), pp.86-872.
- Dennis D. KELLY: Sexual Dffirentiation of the Nervous System, en: Principles of Neural Science, ed- por Eric R. KANDEL, James H. SCHWARTZ, Thomas M. JESSELL,4. ed. (Ed. Appleton and Lange), Norwalk, Connecticut 2000, pp.l l3l-1149.
- Ana Carmen MARCUELLO y Marfa ELOSEGUI: Sexo, gdnero, identidad sexual y sus patologias, en Cuadernos de Biodtica (199913), pp.459477 .
- Margaret MEAD: Male and Female. A Study of the Sexes in a Changing Word, New York 1949.
- P. NOPOULOS, M. FLAUM, D. O'LEARY, N.C. ANDREASEN: Sexual dimorphism in the human brain: evaluation of tissue volume, tissue composition and surface anatomy using magnetic resonance imaging, en:. Psychiatry Res (2000/2), pp.1-13. H.
- PONTIFICIO CONSEJO PARA LA FAMILIA: Familia, matrimonio y uniones de hecho, (26 de julio de 2000), 8. - N. SADATO, V. IBANEZ,M.P. DEIBER, M. HALLETT: Gender difference in premotor activity during active
t act i le disc riminati o n, en : Neu roimage (2000/5 ), pp.532-5 40.
- Angelo SCOLA: 2Qud es la vida? Madrid 1999,p.128'
- Gloria sol-6 ROMEo: Historia del feminismo. siglos XIX y XX, Pamplona 1995, pp.50-53.
- Karol WOJTYLA: Radiation of fatherhood, en IDEM: The Collected Plays and Writings on Theater, Berkeley
1987, p.355.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Contraceptive Compliance
| ||
| Media Contact: (540) 660-2733 Contact PRI online (c) 2013 Population Research Institute. Permission to reprint granted. Redistribute widely. Credit required. The pro-life Population Research Institute is dedicated to ending human rights abuses committed in the name of "family planning," and to ending counter-productive social and economic paradigms premised on the myth of "overpopulation." Find us at pop.org. The following information is a reminder of your current mailing list subscription: You are subscribed to the following list: Population Research Institute using the following email: jmomandia@gmail.com You may automatically unsubscribe from this list at any time by visiting the following URL: http://lists.pop.org/mail.cgi/ If the above URL is inoperable, make sure that you have copied the entire address. Some mail readers will wrap a long URL and thus break this automatic unsubscribe mechanism. You may also change your subscription by visiting this list's main screen: http://lists.pop.org/mail.cgi/ If you're still having trouble, please contact us at: Tel: 540-622-5240 Fax: 540-622-2728 Email: pri@pop.org Web: pop.org Population Research Institute 1190 Progress Drive, Suite 2D P.O. Box 1559 Front Royal, VA 22630 |
![[Donate to PRI]](https://www.paypalobjects.com/en_US/i/btn/btn_donate_SM.gif)
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Virtue and The Art of Living
Virtue and The Art of Living
EDWARD P. SRI
Going Against the Current
Virtue: Skills for Life
Flying High
Value or Virtue?
EDWARD P. SRI
I'll never forget the instructor's last words: "And if you happen to fall out of your kayak, don't try to stand up in the river."
 |
A number of years ago, my wife and I went kayaking on the Arkansas River in the Colorado Rockies. We had never been kayaking before, so we went with a group led by a guide who gave us lessons – lessons that included the warning about not standing up in the river. "The river is not that deep," he said. "But it is very powerful. If you fall into it, don't stand up because the river will knock you right down. Just hold on to your life jacket and wade to the side."
We began our adventure on smooth, peaceful waters, with me in the front of the kayak and my wife in back. Things were off to a great start as we enjoyed the clear blue skies, the beautiful scenery around us, and the snowcapped mountains above. But we knew the rapids eventually would come, and that would be our first test as new kayakers.
Suddenly, we heard them: the roar of the rapids. Our adrenaline started pumping and we got ready. Into the rapids we went. kayak tilted to the left and the waves poured in. We jumped back to the right and were soaked again. We jerked left again and then straightened up just in time to push through successfully. We made it to the other side of the rapids and returned to safe, smooth waters. We passed the first test!
I turned around to smile at my wife and celebrate: "We did it!" But Beth had a look of horror on her face. She was frantically pointing forward and yelling, "Keep it straight! it straight!" She noticed that as I had turned around to celebrate – prematurely – the kayak turned with me. In a matter of seconds, we had done a complete 180 and now were floating backwards down the Arkansas River!
Going Against the Current
I eventually got us straight again, but it was too late. There was a large tree log that had fallen halfway across the river. While the rest of our group followed our guide around the log, we were headed straight for it. Our kayak brushed up against the log and was immediately sucked under by the river. We were left desperately hanging on to the log with our bodies being pulled under. Soon enough, we too were sucked underwater, swept away by the current.
Downstream I drifted submerged, choking in the water and having my rear end hit what seemed like every rock in the river. I didn't like that feeling, so guess what I tried to do. Yes, I tried to stand up. And immediately, boom! The river knocked me back down. In a panic, I tried a second time to stand up, and instantly, I was pulled under the water and swept away. After a failed third attempt to stand up, I finally remembered the instructor's words, "Don't try to stand up in the river." I held on to my life jacket, rose to the surface, and eventually made it safely to the side of the river. My wife survived, too. I found her alive about a half-mile downstream – and we haven't been kayaking since!
It's hard to stand up against a powerful river. And similarly, it's hard to stand up against the current of our culture. There is not a lot of support from our secular, relativistic world for living a good Catholic life. In the media, in the workplace, and sometimes even in our own families, we do not get a lot of encouragement for going deeper in our Catholic faith, for building a strong marriage and raising godly children for the Lord. Quite the opposite. Many forces are constantly working against us, distracting us from what is most important in life and trying to knock us down in our pursuit to follow Christ.
Virtue: Skills for Life
If we want to swim against the tide of our culture, there is one thing we need that is absolutely critical. If we want deep trust and intimacy in our marriages, if we want to build a strong family life for our children, if we want to have true Christian friendship with others – in sum, if we desire to live our Catholic faith deeply and not be swayed by the way the world tries to get us to live – there is one thing we need that is virtually indispensable. And that's virtue.
No matter how much I may sincerely desire to live out my Catholic faith and grow in my relationship with Christ, no matter how much I may sincerely desire to be a good husband to my wife, a good father to my children, and a good friend to the people in my life, without virtue, I will fail to live these relationships well. I will be swept away by the current of the culture and my own selfish desires unless I am proactively swimming upstream to cultivate virtue in my life.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines virtue as "an habitual and firm disposition to do the good" (no. 1803). Think of virtue as a skill that enables one to do the right thing easily and to love God and neighbor as if it were second nature. Just as various trades and crafts require certain skills, so the art of living requires virtue. The virtues arethe crucial life skills we need to live our relationships with God and neighbor with excellence.
Flying High
When teaching about virtue, I like to talk about airplanes. Since my childhood, I've been fascinated by flying. I loved going to the airport and seeing planes take off and come in for landing. And when onboard, I always wanted to sit by the window, so that I could gaze at the sky above and look down at the clouds and ground far below. To this day, while most frequent flyers prefer the aisle seat, I still choose the window because of how enthralled I am about being in flight.
Now, here's a question for you: After hearing of my passion about flying, would that ever make you want to get into an airplane with me in the cockpit? No way! I may value flying and have strong feelings about airplanes, but if I do not have the skills to fly a plane, you don't want to fly with me as your pilot.
Similarly, my father was a surgeon, and I grew up often following him to the hospital and looking at books and pictures about anatomy and surgical procedures. I have fond memories of my dad as a surgeon and continue to place surgeons in high esteem. However, would you want to get on the operating table with me as your surgeon just because I value surgery so much? Hardly. Since I never went to medical school and do not possess the skills of performing operations, you don't want me serving as your surgeon.
This is all common sense. No one would ever get into an airplane with someone who doesn't have the skills of flying. And no one would ever hop on the operating table with someone who didn't possess the skills of surgery. Yet in our age, many people jump into business partnerships, dating relationships, and even marriages without ever asking the fundamental question of virtue: Does this person have the virtue – the skills – necessary to live this relationship well? Does this person have patience, generosity, prudence, self-control, humility, discipline, etc.? These are just some of the many virtues we need to love others and live out our commitments to them.
Value or Virtue?
When I speak at marriage and family conferences, I often ask spouses two questions. First: "How many of you value your spouse and want to treat him or her well?" Everyone raises their hands. Second: "How many of you do things that hurt your spouse?" Everyone raises their hands again.
It's easy to say I value my spouse, my children, my friends, and my God. And I may sincerely desire to love them all. But it takes much effort, practice, and grace to acquire the virtues I need to actually be a good husband, father, friend, and Christian. The virtues are like powers within us that help us to love others. Indeed, the virtues give us the freedom to love, and without the virtues, we are simply not capable of loving others the way God intends.
 However, virtue should be understood relationally. The virtues are not important merely for one's own life; they are the habitual dispositions – the skills – we need to love God and the people God has placed in our lives. If I lack virtue in certain areas, that doesn't just harm me; it affects the people closest to me. They will suffer the consequences of my lack of virtue. |
This is an important point to make. When I was younger and heard people at church talk about the virtues, I had anindividualistic view of the virtuous life. I had a mistaken impression that virtues were something good merely for my own soul: for my moral development or my spiritual life. Humility, piety, kindness, prudence, temperance – these and other virtues seemed to be simply good qualities every Catholic was supposed to have in order to be a good Christian. The virtues were like badges that made you a good "boy scout" for God.
However, virtue should be understood relationally. The virtues are not important merely for one's own life; they are the habitual dispositions – the skills – we need to love God and the people God has placed in our lives. If I lack virtue in certain areas, that doesn't just harm me; it affects the people closest to me. They will suffer the consequences of my lack of virtue.
For example, if I lack in the virtue of generosity, I will do selfish things that hurt my spouse. If I lack prudence and spend too many hours preoccupied with work and not enough time with my children, my kids will feel the effects of the imprudent way I choose to spend my time. If I often get overwhelmed with life and become easily irritated, stressed, or angered, the people in my life will suffer the consequences of my lack of patience and perseverance.
This is the most tragic thing about my deficiency in virtue: To the extent that I lack in virtue, to that extent I am not free to love. No matter how much I may desire to be a good son of God, a good husband to my wife, and a good father to my children, without virtue, I will not consistently give the best of myself to the Lord, I will not honor and serve my wife effectively, and I will not raise my children as well as I should. My lack of virtue will affect other people's lives.
Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger (now Pope Benedict XVI) once said that in our progressively secular, de-Christianized world, we have lost "the art of living." Indeed, in an age of moral confusion, when the heritage of the virtues and character formation has not been passed on, we no longer know how to live life well. This new series of articles will explore the Catholic tradition of the virtues in a practical way to help us begin to recover "the art of living."
The Art of Living: The First Step of Prudence
The Art of Living: The First Step of Prudence
EDWARD P. SRI
Counsel
Piano Man
Defects in Counsel
Men and Directions
EDWARD P. SRI
Prudence is the virtue that most immediately helps us live our lives on target.
 |
When we regret a decision, find ourselves in a sticky situation that was quite avoidable, or just sense our lives are not heading in the right direction, it is often because this foundational cardinal virtue was not at the forefront of our actions.
Called "the charioteer of the virtues"(Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 1806), prudence directs all the other virtues, pointing them to their proper end. Without prudence, one's life might look like a horse and chariot running away without a driver-a lot of energy, speed, and commotion, but not going in the right direction.
Prudence entails practical wisdom. It enables us "to discern our true good in every circumstance and to choose the right means of achieving it" (Catechism, no. 1806). How well prudence is developed will affect every aspect of our lives. It takes prudence to buy a car or a house and to make a good financial investment. It takes prudence to raise children well, advance one's career, or ask a girl on a date. Prudence is well-ordered reason applied to action, so that we not only know the right thing to do, but also how and when to do it.
There are three key aspects of prudence: counsel, judgment, and decisiveness. Each of these is necessary, but in this reflection, we focus on the first step for prudence: counsel.
Counsel
Have you ever made a decision you wish you could take back? St. Thomas Aquinas reminds us that prudent decisions require counsel, which is the "act of inquiry." This is the first step, in which we gather the information necessary to make a good decision.
For example, when buying a car, it is not wise to show up at a car dealer and purchase the first auto one sees. The prudent man assesses how much money he can spend and what kind of car fits his needs and his budget. He may also test drive different cars, look at consumer reviews, or talk to friends who own the kinds of cars he is considering.
While this might seem like commonsense, many of us make poor decisions that we later regret because we failed to take this first necessary step. We rush into a decision without adequately considering the necessary data. We purchase something spontaneously and later realize we didn't really need it and should have saved the money for something else. We commit our time to some activity and later kick ourselves for it because we should have known our plates were already quite full.
Aquinas calls this defect in counsel "precipitation," which refers to bringing about an action prematurely or hastily. Just as rain and snow fall to the ground, so do we stumble and fall when we fail to take the necessary steps of counsel.
Piano Man
Shortly after we moved into our first home, I dreamed of having a piano for our children. But quickly after looking into piano prices, I knew we could not afford even a used one any time in the near future. Just then, a friend of mine who was moving told me his piano would not fit into his new home. It was an old standing grand piano-a little worn over the years, with one of the keys needing repair, but still in decent condition. He offered to give it to me for free if I helped him transport it out on moving day.
I was ecstatic. I told my 2-year-olddaughter Madeleine the good news, and she repeated "Piano! Piano!" with excitement that day. We got up early the next morning to make space in our living room, and I left to go pick it up. Madeleine waved tome from the window, anxiously awaiting there turn of Daddy and the new piano.
| Aquinas mentions three weaknesses that cause precipitous action. |
My friend and I recruited a few other men to help us load the piano onto a pickup truck. Despite the awkward shape of the standing grand, we got it out of the house and successfully lifted it upright into the truck. We were off to my home, just seven blocks away!
Of course, we drove slowly and carefully as we headed straight east on the first five blocks of our journey. Then, we made our first turn onto Fifth Street and my house came into view.
At that moment, I heard a sound I'll never forget. The noise sounded like someone banging on the piano as we were halfway through the turn. My heart sank. I looked into the review mirror and saw the standing grand piano no longer standing upright. It was falling out of the truck, and there was nothing I could do. In the span of just two or three seconds-which seemed tome like a helpless eternity-I watched in the rear view mirror as the piano fell out of the truck upside down, bounced on the street, and broke into pieces.
In our concern to get the big, odd-sized piano out the front door and onto the truck, we did not think through the remaining steps: We forgot to tie down the piano to the truck! Because we failed to think through the whole process, our family's dreams for a piano were shattered with the standing grand on Fifth Street that day. I came home to my daughter empty-handed, and for the next several weeks, whenever a visitor came to our home, she would walk them over to the spot in our living room where the piano was supposed to reside and say to them, "Piano broke. . . . Piano broke. . . ."
Defects in Counsel
Aquinas mentions three weaknesses that cause precipitous action. The first weakness isimpulse. This is when a person gives little thought to a decision and runs with his initial reaction. He fails to think through his course of action. This may concern smaller matters, such as spending a lot more time on the Internet than planned on a given evening or buying a few extra items at the grocery store that were not on the list.
It may affect bigger issues, such as accumulating a lot of debt for things one could not truly afford. The average credit card debt among all American households recently hit $8,400. Many families find themselves enslaved for years struggling to pay off not only credit cards, but cars, homes, and other items, as they were trying to live beyond their means. Thinking through one's finances and expenses more carefully can save a lot of grief, just as foresight with the piano move would have prevented much heartache in our home.
A second cause of rushed decisions is what Aquinas calls passion -- being carried away by our emotions. When we're angry, for example, we say things we later regret. When we're impatient with our kids, we may lose our temper and make things worse. When we're afraid, we often overact to problems and make unwise moves. When a young person falls in love, she may idealize her beloved and not see serious faults that will come back to haunt her.
Are you someone who has a difficult time saying no to others when they ask for something? When we're afraid to say no, various emotions might be at work: We don't want to let other people down, we don't want others to think less of us, we like being the one people turn to for help, we will feel guilty if we turn down certain family members or friends, etc. In our pride, vanity, insecurity, or greed, we have difficulty refusing other people when they come to us with a request, even though saying no may be the most prudent thing for us to do. Heeding others' requests may flow from generosity, but in some cases, it may be the result of disordered emotions dominating our decision-making process, leading us to make poor choices.
Men and Directions
A third cause of poorly-thought-out choices is stubbornness. This fault is not simply forgetting to think things through or making a decision based on one's emotions. The stubborn person deliberately refuses to gather information or take time to weigh a decision. My father, for example, was notorious in our family for getting lost when driving. We now joke about the family vacations when he was lost and did not like admitting so. Like many men, my dad did not want to stop at a gas station to ask for directions. He would rather keep driving than admit defeat, even though the rest of us pleaded for him to turn around or look at a map!
| Counsel is the crucial first aspect of prudence. But no matter how much one gathers information and thinks through a decision, unless he makes a good judgment and acts on it, he does not have the virtue of prudence. |
We can be stubborn not only in driving a car, but also in the way we steer our lives. Some choleric, "type-A" personalities are afraid to ask for help when things are not going well. They do not want to appear as if they do not know what they are doing. So rather than humbly seeking help, they plow ahead and give the appearance they have everything in control.
Some people, when making a big, life changing decision or facing a certain moral dilemma, are afraid to seek God's will in the matter. They might say some prayers about it, but they are not truly open to all the options and to whatever God might want them to do, say, or give up. In these moments of discernment, we might even avoid certain people's counsel because we are afraid of what that person may say. So instead of talking to a particular friend or priest, we seek advice only from the people we think will agree with the direction we want to go.
Counsel is the crucial first aspect of prudence. But no matter how much one gathers information and thinks through a decision, unless he makes a good judgment and acts on it, he does not have the virtue of prudence. In our next reflection, we will consider the next two aspects of prudence: judgment and decisiveness.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)